In my mind, my mom is frozen at 34. This would be an ideal start to a dramatic ode where a woman died tragically young. In reality, my mom is trucking right along at 81 today. But that's the thing about moms. You just count on them to be there, the way and age you need them to be. And if you're a lucky child - and I was - and if they are healthy, they are just there being your mom, quietly making the entire world work around you.
And that's okay.
You don't really need your mom to be exciting or cool or hot shit. And you don't find out how cool they are 'til later.
And that's okay.
Because your mom is also the only one in the house who knows what suppositories are, and when they are necessary. And you don't need that person to be flashy or theatrical. You just need them to be determined enough for both of you to fake a little amateur medical practice.
Moms worry about everyone in the family, including the dad. So sometimes the kids worry about the dad too. But no one really worries about the mom.
And that's okay.
Because remember, she's 34 and 34-year-olds are pretty tough.
Moms are always quietly staying in shape, sneaking off to some Jane Fonda workout class. Because they are the ones in the family in charge of knowing about things like osteoporosis and how to ward it off. They hold this information until you are 40, and need to know it.
Moms are sweet and can teach you how to swaddle a baby as tight as a Chipotle burrito, but also dark and belly laugh at Fargo when the body rolls down the stairs tangled in shower curtain.
And that's okay.
Because moms have seen things, and need to laugh hard to balance it out. And by the time you notice them laughing, you are old enough to notice how tough and clever they are.
My mom is the only one whom I've let read the little book I wrote. It was not funny or cute. I didn't want to inflict it on anyone. BUT I did inflict it on my mom. See? See how we don't worry about moms?
They are the keeper of the all their kids' struggles. And if you're a lucky child - and I am - you've got a mom you can tell them to.
And she wants you to.
This is the tiniest bit about moms, but did I mention that at my new job I have to be there at 8am to unlock the doors to the clinic? And if I don't, other people's moms who are patients will just be standing around outside waiting to get in? Because moms are also on time.
Happy Birthday to Maurice. Today she is 35.