i'm fingering the hem of a new robe to wear,
a new kind of love i'm trying on for size.a new way to live, that always grows
and never shrinks.
love should not make you smaller.
did he ask you to shrink, or did you try to read him
and guess what he wanted?
doesn't matter anymore,
sometimes everyone's just wrong.
do you say the new way sounds selfish? that love is all sacrifice?
I say, as soon as you stop growing,
he may begin to hate you anyway,
but more importantly, so may you, and we can't have that again.
never apologize for others loving you.
don't act as though your life began the moment he showed up.
don't shrug off the parts that don't include him as peripheral.
it's a disservice to everyone in your life,
and a lie that could become true.
don't tell him the other men in your life see you
as a sexless human they can take or leave as a friend.
don't appease him by saying they don't see you that way
to make him feel comfortable.
say instead, "Perhaps they're all in love with me--
what's it to us?
go date someone smaller if you don't believe you deserve me."
it's not selfish, because you want him to believe all of this about himself too.
no shrinking allowed for either.
go big or go home.