Edith Hamilton
Bryn Mawr College
Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvannia
Re: Squashing the Beef
Dear Edith:
I realize you're from the past, but I've got a beef to squash, and I hope you can help. FYI, in 2019, "squashing the beef" means settling a score or resolving a conflict. 2019 is an interesting place. You might like it; hair buns are back.
First, congratulations on your book on Greek mythology. Do you know that nearly every middle schooler in the world has read it? Correction - been assigned to read it. You get the royalties either way, so who cares, amiright?
Okay, brass tacks, Edie. I realize you did not create mythology, even though to middle schoolers, the fact that you lived in the 1800s means you could have. You simply compiled the stories. But to me, Edith Hamilton means Greek myths, so I've turned to you for help.
Edith, I love trees. In the last few years, I'll admit I've hugged and patted a few. I've gone so far as to name my favorites. Sometimes, I go to a little grove near my home, and talk to them, picturing them as strong wise women. Given that, it may surprise you, as it did me, that I became irate yesterday when I came across the myth of Daphne and Apollo.
I don't remember reading the story in school. Probably you covered it, and probably I didn't do my homework that week. But this is the way I understand it: Apollo is being a jerk to Cupid. Cupid shoots Apollo with an arrow, causing him to be obsessed with Daphne and pursue her relentlessly and sexually. Daphne asks to be turned into a tree to escape Apollo. Her father, a river god makes her a laurel tree.
Let's break this down, Edith. We aren't told much about Daphne. We know the following: She is a naiad, a virgin, and the daughter of a river god. Were Daphne on Tinder, her interests would include hanging out by the water, and not having sex. But let's be honest, Daphne wouldn't have been on Tinder. I'm sure she has other interests, but the myth doesn't paint her a deep character portrait, so her main ones are bodies of water and abstinence.
Apollo on the other hand, mythology cannot say enough about. He is fly, cool and powerful. His resume is full, and would exceed the character limits of any dating site profile. He is god of the sun, god of the arts, and head of the muses. People were droning on about Apollo way before and long after his run in with Daphne.
Lastly, we've got Cupid. Cupid might be a puppet master of sorts, but anyway you look at it, he's basically an annoying third wheel on every date. Maybe this is what Apollo was teasing him about, we don't know. Regardless, it's easy to see why Cupid might want to take Apollo down a notch. And this was even before an entire Harlem theatre would be named after Apollo, while Cupid's image would later devolve into a chubby diapered baby.
Lastly, we've got Cupid. Cupid might be a puppet master of sorts, but anyway you look at it, he's basically an annoying third wheel on every date. Maybe this is what Apollo was teasing him about, we don't know. Regardless, it's easy to see why Cupid might want to take Apollo down a notch. And this was even before an entire Harlem theatre would be named after Apollo, while Cupid's image would later devolve into a chubby diapered baby.
Whatever the reason, Cupid gets revenge on Apollo by siccing him on Daphne, the seemingly innocent bystander. Apollo is a real go-getter, so I'm sure he was hard to evade. In order to escape Apollo's constant harassment, Daphne finally just asks her dad, "Just turn me into a tree or something; this is exhaustifying!" So, her dad says, "Poof! You're a laurel. Have not of the sexing." Consequently, Apollo is foiled. Yet, he doesn't lose his obsession completely, because he uses laurel for all of the head wreaths in the Olympic games.
The end.
The end.
At first, I thought, "Ooooo! Woman becomes tree - lovely image!. I might enjoy being a tree." So, I couldn't figure why it made me so frustrated. The way I've told the story, it seems obvious, but it took me awhile to get there.
Apollo wasn't really foiled at all. He went on to do great things: the Olympics, inspire art, and do whatever a sun god does to the sun to keep it going. Cupid got to stick it to the cool guy, and move on with his life of archery. Daphne, on the other hand, got the shortest of the short sticks. Not even a stick, Edith...like a little nub of a splinter.
Apollo wasn't really foiled at all. He went on to do great things: the Olympics, inspire art, and do whatever a sun god does to the sun to keep it going. Cupid got to stick it to the cool guy, and move on with his life of archery. Daphne, on the other hand, got the shortest of the short sticks. Not even a stick, Edith...like a little nub of a splinter.
People may say, "Daphne escaped though." Did she? This girl, prior to this squabble between two guys, was minding her own business as the daughter of a river god. River water moves, Edith. All water moves a little. She was a happy moving water girl until these two assholes started fighting. Becoming a tree could be awesome, but maybe not for a water girl. And certainly not if her choice wasn't a genuine choice.
Sometimes what looks like a choice, isn't a true choice. If you are forced into a corner, you don't get a real choice. Having two options, isn't always having control. If you are in control, you can choose to remain in a place where you don't have to make a choice at all. But when someone bigger or with more power or with leverage makes you choose, that's not choosing.
This is my beef, Edith. I saw many paintings and statues of Daphne as a lovely tree, with Apollo at her side, scratching up her trunk like a dog trees squirrels. There is nothing lovely about being pinned into a role just because someone outlasted your endurance. One might even go so far as calling that being manipulated. One might even call that coercion.
One might.
And one should.
One might.
And one should.
Edith -- may I call you Edith? Because I have been -- Edith, I don't know much about your life, Honey. I'm sure 1867-1963 was rougher than 2019. It couldn't have been a great time for women. Your clothes look very uncomfortable. But I wonder if you'd be surprised by how little some things have changed. You'd be surprised how many young women, walking around with their floofy top knots, are blamed for things, held responsible for things, and criticized for choices when their "choices" weren't genuine options.
So help me squash this beef, Hamilton. Let's unroot Daphne. Let's unearth those feet, let her run, and see what she chooses. If she chooses to be that tree, she is welcome to replant. If she chooses to go to the water, join the circus or work at Target, she can do that too.
But let it be a real choice.
Write that up, and I'll be glad to check for typos.
Love,
Pam
But let it be a real choice.
Write that up, and I'll be glad to check for typos.
Love,
Pam
