Some weeks, do you have a resounding mantra in your head that sounds like, "I'm just not doing very well at life...I'm just not doing very well?" And you're not sure exactly what constitutes "doing well," but you're certain "well" looks different from what you're doing? And if someone were coming around with a clip board to observe and grade you, you know she'd come with a clucking tongue, shaking her head and frowning.
But you're not dumb, you know no one is coming to grade you, which is all the more reason not to let yourself off the hook. You must cluck and frown at yourself and remind yourself your performance is sub par. It feels bad. But if you relaxed, wouldn't you just slide further and further into mediocrity and sub par and even deeper into just plain shameful?
I know that we don't get graded.
I know we shouldn't compare our parenting or personality or job performance or anything else to others' or even to some fictitious ideal.
These days, I still cluck and frown at myself and tell myself I could "do much better, young lady."
I still mentally grade myself.
HOWEVER, I'd like to point out that I know it's wrong and I remind myself that it's wrong AS I cluck and frown.
And for this...
Well, I believe I should receive partial credit towards the final grade.