The more I think about monkeys, the more I wonder if I should use a different animal as a comparison for my current lifestyle. I'm a bit afraid monkeys are sharper and more organized, maybe even cleaner and more fit. But I chose monkey, so monkey I am.
In Part One, I explained that I've always been an overly organized, routine-oriented adult...since I was born. In this year of transition, I suppose my energy and memory power is localized somewhere away from my brain. It's like I'm an ape trying to learn sign language, and I'm trying so hard that I forget the other things in life. Except at the end, I don't know sign language.
And that's a rip off because now I don't know sign language, but I still forget to eat meals...and buy silverware...and turn off the sink before I go to the car to get my phone charger but see something shiny on the way and then see a neighbor kid and show him the shiny thing and then spend some time wondering why everyone else's kids seem so mysteriously sticky and eventually the sink runs over and the bathroom is like a fun splash pad. And also I forgot my phone charger.
I put a giant bag of trash in my backseat to carry to the dumpster 50 yards away. That was Thursday. I found it yesterday still in the seat. I'd rather not say what today is, but I had reached around it to get my purse more than once and not noticed it.
A shout out to work place break rooms. While I used to think they were full of strange smells, as a monkey, they're my best friend. I've lived off community snacks for months. I wasn't excited about those bacon maple cupcakes the first day they came in, but by the second third and fourth days, I'd finished them. Sorry coworkers; you snooze, you lose. And thank you zookeepers for your regular holiday deliveries. Amazingly, I'm not much heavier as a monkey, but I'm pretty sure if I cut my leg shaving, nothing but a puff of air and a Danish cookie would fall out.