a fox
Is what tests marriage and proves it a
marriage--
I would not have failed the test."
Ted Hughes
 | |
| fox in bell jar |
Am I saying I blame Hughes?
Of course not. I am saying only that it's really hard for me to love him.
A few years ago, The Atlantic had an interesting article about Hughes' poetry before, during and after his marriage to Plath which, bless his heart, is pretty much how we define him.
Sorry bastard.
I'm no expert, but when I read about the two of them, rightly or wrongly, I think of people who marry or befriend someone because they love certain talents and aspects of the person's personality, then proceed to slowly crush those same traits out of them.
My mother says, "Insecurity can be a scary thing. An insecure person an be a dangerous person." Don't marry or pair yourself with someone who thinks they don't deserve you.
They may work up to you, but often, they will wear you down until you deserve them...or maybe until you forget where you end and they begin.
Or maybe they'll just fucking tire you out until you don't give a shit.
If you find yourself in a draining and de-selfing relationship, my strictly unprofessional and unmedical opinion is to drink as much caffeine and take as many meds and see as many therapists as you need to get out of that jar and away from the ones who try to grind you into dust.
You think you're too tired, but guess what happens: once you are out of their orbit, you will stand up straight, breathe deeply and find energy you never even knew you had. Energy that's been wasted just making it through the day near those energy stealers.
Stay foxy.