yesterday the kids tried out for a talent show.
yesterday I submitted something to McSweeney's.
let's just say that afterward, each of us was regretting parts of our performance. I'd spotted a mistake - they'd wanted certain things to go differently.
later I was walking around the house hissing under my breath at myself, "jack ass. stooopid. dammit. stoopidjackass."
they were basically doing the G version....
so we had a conference.
I said, "listen. we are BRAVE. we made something. it was fun. whatever happens, that doesn't get undone. we made ART, dudes. and sometimes trying things helps your friends be brave and try things."
and it was one of those moments when you tell your kids things, and you are forced to question whether you live them.
but then you are encouraged to live them.
and then you realize you mostly don't know jack and you are learning almost everything along with your kids, and that is good, but scary bc you realize once again,
the hospital will let almost ANYone go home with a baby, regardless of your qualifications. I knew they should've screened me better.

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