mimes for rent

At a nursing home yesterday, someone on staff CASUALLY asked me if I, or a co-worker, would like to come DRESS AND ACT LIKE A MIME TO MUSIC WHILE THE RESIDENTS ATE A FRENCH-THEMED DINNER???!!!

She said, "You'd just have to paint your face and go through the motions."
I said, "In a way, aren't we all just going through the motions?"
Her "So you'll do it?"
Me "Oh. Hell no."