it's okay to say nothing.
duties, obligations, debts and check lists...
if we don't know how to speak of life, marriage, god, religion without these, it's okay to say nothing.
there's no hurry, Honey.
sit still. listen. look into the faces of people and flowers...wait. breathe. ponder.
when it's time for words, say simply: love.
love.
mercy.
compassion.
they're never wrong. they're never dangerous.
i believe this more everyday, and this is why:
when you speak of duty, guilt, debt and obligations to god, to spouse, to world, even to self...
one group of people never hear - it rolls off their backs like water off a goose. no harm done, no help done.
another group of people scoffs and carries on. maybe no extra harm done, certainly no help done.
but the people who react to words like guilt and duty - Honey, those people already carry more guilt and duties than you can imagine. sometimes, we are just born that way. your words and commands soak into our deepest broken places and reinforce all of their aches and burdens. even when they want to claw up and out of that cave, they will take in more guilt, because they believe they deserve it anyway.
speak of love.
you worry some people believe they are too "good," but stop.
grades like good and bad only change behavior.
no one really cares about being good or bad. they only care about being loved.
the duty talk will effect change. you may see it and believe you're on the right path.
but don't be fooled.
people will change behavior to be loved. they will change, please, work and adapt until you almost don't recognize them and they no longer recognize themselves.
don't make them. just love them and sit still.
if you need a task, work on learning to receive love, Honey, because if you are using that kind of language, you need it too.