something pleasant happened this morning.
i picked up the ukulele for the first time in weeks.
i've been plodding through the chords of jeff buckley/leonard cohen's "hallelujah." i was looking between a sheet of finger positions for chords, the lyrics/chords, and intermittently a video on strumming patterns. in other words, i was laboring. it wasn't unenjoyable, but it was work.
i kept playing it over and over again.
and then finally, i hit that point where you get lost in it in a good way.
i was loose and it was fun, and completely out of my head.
i was playing harder, but i wasn't thinking about the rhythm.
i'm not saying it sounded good, but it definitely felt good.
this used to happen with the banjo when i'd play after dinner sometimes.
it was strange bc i have always thought i do everything better and with less effort in the morning. the banjo, however, was the one thing that was easier in the evening. sometimes i could play something so much faster, almost effortlessly at 6pm, but not even be able to stumble through it the next morning. again, it didn't necessarily sound good, but it felt good. it was nice to discover that i was useful and functional in some way other than between the hours of 5-7am.
maybe this is what that counselor meant about hobbies.