Hitting the Wall...
I guess everyone hits the wall in their life, probably multiple times. You've been there. You start a project, a hobby, a career, you are excited, it makes sense, you think you are where you are meant to be, then one day you wake up, look around and say, "What the FUN am I doing here?"
A wise woman told me the middle is a dangerous place to be. We were studying Nehemiah (all you really need to know is that a bunch of people were building a big wall, and halfway through, it started to get really hard and frustrating...and also that you shouldn't name your kid Nehemiah. We get it you're a Christian; don't show off. Name him Charlie). Anyway, the wall builders wanted to give up.
The middle is hard. It's not as new and exciting as the beginning. It's not as rewarding as the near-beginning (when things are still fun, but you have a bit of a grip on them), and it's not as exciting as being over the middle hump and sure about yourself (say someone who knows he's found his niche, is doing what he was made to do).
The middle blows.
For one thing, when you are in the middle, you don't really know how far away it is "over the hump," until things get easier or more sure. For all you know you could still be near the beginning. The beginning is a place where it might indeed be wise to stop...you aren't copping out, you just tried something, it was wrong, time to move on.
So, what was I even talking about...
oh yeah, What the FUN am I doing here?
In a place where most people are under 30, male and... and...well, that's enough.
What in the world were you thinking God?
And God steps back a bit, and says, "Don't look at me, missy. I didn't have anything to do with this one. And I'm going to need to distance myself from you a bit if you keep saying FUN."
So, what do you do? You aren't sure whether you should press on, and see if things click, or whether you should head back to wherever you were previously...but maybe that isn't even an option anymore. You're stuck.
You do what I do.
You pray.
You wait.
And you eat a bucket of chicken.
"The prayer of a chicken-eater availeth much." 1 Pam 1:7