Yes, it was released 14 years ago. But you see, I only just saw it. And I am obsessed with it. I don't think I can move on with my life until we talk about it, and I really need to mop. So, let's cover this, so I can clean my grubby floor.
When Fight Club was released in '99, I was but a child...engaged...innocent...unworldly.... At that time, I was naïve enough to see the movie posters and believe it was just another action movie, something for the guys...and somehow soap was involved. It was barely a blip on my radar.
Years later, I remember Chris watching it one night, while I was in the background (busy caring for his children), not even concerned that I was missing it. Surely, it held nothing pertinent for a stay-at-home-mom. On contraire mon ami. On contraire.
Recently, I was so bored and so stuck, that in my string of movie watching, I finally saw Fight Club in its entirety. That's exactly when you should see it, because, you see, Edward Norton is basically a stay-at-home-mom...with better furniture.
Do you know Fight Club is funny? I didn't. Do you know that it is written so smartly, your one regret watching it will be that you didn't think of it first? I didn't. Now, I want almost every other line printed on a tshirt to wear.
Yes, it is violent, bloody, and downright creepy at times, but what is this compared to childbirth, parenting and marriage? A little acid on my hand? Ha. Challenge me, Tyler. Trade places with me for a week, you will be begging for acid.
I don't mean to be hard on Ed Norton. I love Ed. I get Ed. Ed and I should start a bridge club or weekly coffee date, because we could really help each other out. My only complaint is that he makes me want to cry a little. Do you know how much he needed a friend, y'all? SO much. And he got one, except, wait for it...his ONE AND ONLY friend was imaginary. Oh, the anguish. I couldn't have felt worse for him if he'd been Russell Crowe in a Beautiful Mind finding out Charles was a delusion. This means that when Ed passed Tyler the beer to share, it just fell on the pavement. Is there anything sadder than a guy dropping his beer handing it to his fake friend? Trust me, there isn't. This means that his jaunty friend full of vim and vigor and catch phrases...not full. Not there. This means that the most stable person in his life is Helena Bonham Carter. That alone is scary and depressing.
But he's no worse off than a young mom trapped at home during the toddler years really. You see almost all questions begin and end with Fight Club:
Are you bored with your job? The answer is Fight Club.
Do you find yourself wanting a little excitement, a new adventure? The answer is Fight Club.
Would you like to get in shape, tone up or lose weight? The answer is Fight Club.
Would you like to make new friends? The answer is Fight Club.
Would you mind if these new friends to hit you in the face? No? Good. The answer is still Fight Club.
Would you like to have a second home? A vacation place to getaway from it all? Of course you would. The answer is Fight Club.
Would you mind if this second home is an abandoned house where people make bombs out of soap supplies? (also, your sheets will be really dirty). Then the answer is Fight Club.
Do you like Ikea? You're wondering, "Well, who doesn't?"Would you like me to give you a house full of the newest and best Ikea furniture? Of course you would.
It’s going to look good…but then I’m going to set it on fire. Are you okay with that? Good. Then the answer is Fight Club.
You see everything begins and ends with Fight Club. It is not what you thought it was.
....time to mop.